whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
