I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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