Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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