Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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