People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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