she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
