my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
