CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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