they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
