Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
