lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
