He uses pillows to masturbate.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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