capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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