I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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