I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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