a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
