There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
