I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
