That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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