After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
