Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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