so explain again why im purple
no
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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