Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
