He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
