So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
