I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
