A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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