Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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