i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
