I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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