I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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