I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need to align my fucking chakras
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
