Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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