thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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