we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
