would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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