my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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