I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
