a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
