We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
