Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize