Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
