Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
