where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
