Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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