goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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