My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize