you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You took a bar mat shot.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
