dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
