I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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