did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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