so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
