It was confusing and full of hummus
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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