He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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