Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
