Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
