She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
