he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
