Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
