Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
