Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
