Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
