idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
