You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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